Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
