I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
