Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Randomize
