I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize