I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
