i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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