ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
