Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
