saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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