so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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