i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
