Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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