so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
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I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
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Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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