How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
