Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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