when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
