I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Randomize
