Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
