dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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