david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
