She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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