i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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