Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
