His apartment number was 69. I had to.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
