I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
