Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
