I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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