she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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