I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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