Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
