Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
