she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
