I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize