also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
