Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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