i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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