I am in a vortex of obligation.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
you inspire me to be a worse person
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
