idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
