Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
