Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
