Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
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Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
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Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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