he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
