You smell like stripper and shame
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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