i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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