What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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