"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize