end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
This is my gift to your gina
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
