Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
