I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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