i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
