You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
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