ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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