Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
