LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
