What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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