put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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