But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
