he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
