He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
