She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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