So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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