It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
