i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
