Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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